Transition tips as I am in the middle of the tunnel...

So much has happened in my life and heart so far in 2012, that I couldn't even begin to describe it in a blog post.

I have been writing, however. I have been taking notes, journalling and cataloguing my life and all that God has been saying to me directly and through others.

I now am confident that I am entering from this last wideopen space that I have been in since moving back to the US (and particuarly since being in Tennessee) into a time of transition. This time not of the location of my body or the work of my hands....but a transition of my heart.  

The pressure is building. And the momentum is into His Heart.  

I am so Thankful that I know how to hear His voice and that I can recognize His goodness, because this place is definitely not comfortable.  I am thankful for those around me, my mentors, friends, roommate, and bosses because they are showing me grace and loving me through what might be one of the toughest places I have been to date.  I don't say that lightly. I would definitley say that the three weeks before my dad died were the most emotional and difficult weeks of my life....but in that time, I mostly just survived. I made decisions that needed to be made and tried to be with my father, all the while knowing in my heart that he was leaving earth.

Now, I am in a similar spot. Where I am living in today, but I know in my heart that things are changing drastically in the parallel space of heaven.  I can feel and I even sometimes am seeing that there is a lot going on in the heaven around me. I am so thankful that I can dialogue with the Lord and ask about what I am to do during this time. I keep hearing the simple but difficult instructions of : Repent and Rest, Be Quiet and Trust....and then...just Stand.  My personality is one of doing, moving, accomplishing and what are my directions from my heavenly father? How do I make things right in my world? 

Repent- every day my heart decieves me and I look towards other paths.  Meaning I feel something and in order to deal with the feeling many times my first inclination is to talk about it, or avoid it, or fight it....but the Lord says that I am to REPENT. Or TURN BACK to HIM each time I turn (even a quarter of an inch) away from HIS FACE.

Rest- I have learned in the last few weeks that this is not only methaphorical and a spiritual/mental state...but it is literal. I simply need REST. I need sleep and I need to put my heart at PEACE and KNOW that HE IS GOD. Rest is not the absence of action, it is the presence of peace and stillness in the midst of action.

Be Quiet- this has been hard for me. I like to talk and process...and so I have. But today, I went through some heart murmers and I didn't process with people. I was around people most of the day, but I chose to be quiet...and you know what? It worked. My heart found peace and He was all I needed today.

Trust- This is the most amazing word. I am blown away by trust. It is simply more than we could ever imagine, I mean the layers of trust that exist in the world and between this world and the next are crazy. So.. I am to trust... of course GOD, but also, myself and those around me. In the grand scheme of things, I trust God. I trust that He knows me. He knows my heart and His plans are good. But I also need to trust me. Trust that I have done all that I can do, that I do hear His still small voice, and that I am -regardless of how I feel at times- on the right track IN THE RIGHT TIME.

And when I come to the end of my list of actions for the day and I think...

What do I do now? How do I live fully in today and remain expectant of tomorrow?

I hear.... "having done all of this, STAND"....

and so I shall, I stand on the promises of my Father. I stand on what I know...that HE is Good and He has got my heart in His hand.

Imagination

helps provide meaning to experience and understanding to knowledge; it is a fundamental faculty through which people make sense of the world, and it also plays a key role in the learning process.

When I was 8 years old my family went to Disney World for the first time and my favorite memory is of this dragon, Figment of "my" imagination. He was so fun...he brought color and music and adventure and I remember getting a stuffed on while we where there...so I KNEW he was cudly too.

So,  I was talking to my roommate and a friend after church last night and I was explaining about my newest revelations about imagination and the breakthrough that I have been getting and I thought about this guy...and when I said FIGMENT outloud, my roommate said " Are you thinking about the dragon too?". Such a small thing, but that Michelle and I would think about Figment at the same time, told me that it was a God implanted thought with heavenly purpose.

You see my roommate is just a lovely person, but the number one thing that living with her has taught me is that Childlike-ness is the path to increased intimacy with the Lord.  I have read it in scripture:

³ And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3-4

but I am not sure that I really understood what Jesus was saying.  As I have been desiring more of the Kingdom of God, I have begun to spend unparallelled time with not only my Father, but the Lover of my Soul. And so, I have pondered what it means to "change and become like a child"?

It is true that it is a place of complete trust, rest, and confidence in the goodness and Love of my Father...but it is also about being FREE to DREAM. I can only dream if I can imagine and I can only imagine if I am not afraid of what might become of those imaginations.

How important is it to guard our eyes and ears? It is important because they effect our imaginations and this is where we can make sense of the world...or even better...if you add heaven in there- "make sense of the heavenly world". So, God has forgiven me for not taking better care of my eyes and ears over the years... and has been healing my "mind's eye" so that  I can be FREE to experience heaven.

I am not sure who said it, but I love this quote-  "I am a SPIRIT and I LIVE in a BODY".

So why wouldn't I LIVE in Heaven and VISIT earth? I think that is what it really means to live a Supernatural Life and I am ready for far more.

When I was having a SOZO last week....I saw myself in a familiar memory and I was with my dad at the age of 10. In this memory he was trying to help me with my homework. He wasn't able to and I was disappointed. I saw myself decide then that my dad could no longer help me with decisions and I thought I had to take over control of my life. I have had ministry in this area before, but this time particular focus was on my outfit. I was wearing a shorts outfit that matched and on the shirt was a unicorn.  The unicorn was highlighted to me and when I asked Jesus about it all....he told me that I had "exchanged my Imagination for Worry"....I repented, forgave, and broke agreement with that and took back the imagination.

I can't explain it but something broke inside of me and a deeper level of healing and trust was released.  I am even more excited as I learn more and more about the significance of unicorns and with this most recent memory of FIGMENT....

I guess I am just walking out scripture and am "changing and becoming like a child" and i am both excited, expectant...and a litle uncertain (to be honest).

Here is to deeper levels of intimacy and heavenly living for me and for all who desire it!

MORE LORD!

Age is so crazy..

If you have known me for long, I have commented on age. My age, my siblings ages, my parents ages when they had me... I even tell my story as hangers on a timeline of my age.

Some people have told me that I am too concerned with age. I don't think it is a bad thing to use age as a reference point to help process life, as long as you don't determine that certain things are possible or impossible based on it.

Let's just get it out there... I am 36. So, if you are a man who met me at a church, or on my travels, or are a friend of a friend and are stalking me because I am so amazing, I don't want you to have to dig or do "higher math" to figure it out. I am not lying...seriously, I am 36.  Even as I type it, I can't believe it. I shake my head because I look at that number and I think...wow- in so many ways I don't feel much older than 26. Well, until I go on a 4.5 mile hike and am stiff and sore for two days....or I watch my younger friends and think....I definitely think differently.

I heard someone say recently that you don't really know who you are or what your destiny fully is until you are in your 40's. He was in his 50's.  I will attest to the fact that I am just now starting to GET what I was put on this earth for....and some of it is still "not yet"... the difference between now and my twenties is that now I am ENJOYING life and not trying to FAST FORWARD it.

For example, I am the administrator of a school. I don't want to be the administrator of a school for the rest of my life, but I am enjoying it right now.   I want to counsel, mentor, teach, encourage, prophesy and give other people great ideas to implement. I want to WRITE. Oh...and I always want to be a clown...and a wife...and a mom. Not that being a wife and a mom is like being a clown...but I digress.

My point is that I am growing and learning and most importantly LIVING right now. I love the question- "How are things going?" because for the first time I feel like my answer is... GREAT. I mean, I even hit a deer the other day and had a minor melt down, but God is sooo teaching me that HE has this. He is my husband right now and he is going to help me fix this car. I don't have to worry about it. Since I accepted that...I have received $240 and a tip on a mechanic... good start I would say.

I am also growing in my ability to lead others. I see them. I hear them. I love them and for the first time, I am not afraid that they are going to "ruin" the Jenga puzzle of my life. Let me explain- I think that most of my life I was building this puzzle  (have you played Jenga?) and everything was connected. The part that was scary was that when people came into my life and I was "responsible" for them and their actions affected me....I felt like at any moment they were going to pull out the WRONG piece or just slightly move wrong and everything would come tumbling down. So, I would tense up when they made a mistake and then sometimes just fly of the handle or shame them....in a word- CONTROL. Sad, I know. But let's be honest, isn't that why leaders often deal with CONTROL?  I heard Danny Silk say one time that, when you hurt or scare me, I want to CONTROL you...because I just want you to STOP what you are doing that hurts or scares me. Now that I not only see this, but am also not being led this way (for most of my life I have felt like my leaders have treated me the very same way), I am changing and finding healing. God is so good and I am so amazed at the daily opportunities and change.

I am excited for 2012.....so excited in fact that I think I need to spend some time journalling about it and writing about it here... 

Naturalism is why there is unbelief....

So, I was watching this documentary tonight called Furious Love and a guy named JP Moreland said that

"The western church has lagged behind experiencing the power of the Kingdom of God compared to other parts of the world, primarily because we have accepted a worldview called naturalism. We have a tendancy to believe that the natural world really is all there is, that God heals only through medicine, that spirits are multiple personality problems and things like that. "

I had to listen to this multiple times because there was an immediate, "ah ha" in my spirit. I knew that he is right....not just for the "western church" but for people like me.  I finally understand what I have been fighting since first being taught that Father God is a good Father who wants to HEAL everyone...all the Time. It wasn't that I disbelieved...it was that this new "information" was laid on a faulty foundational belief that was not only ingrained in me, but a very real part of my culture.

I had to know more about Naturalism....

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Philosophy 

a. the view of the world that takes account only of natural elements and forces, 

excluding the supernatural or spiritual.

b. the belief that all phenomena are covered by laws of science and that all teleological explanations are 

therefore without value.

Religion

a. the doctrine that all religious truth is derived from astudy of natural  processes and not from revelation.

b.  the doctrine that natural religion  is sufficient for salvation.

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It seems like the philosophy of Naturalism is completely at odds with the basic tenets of Christianity. That to believe in naturalism, I can believe in a nice historic carpenter named Jesus, but not in the Son of God. I can't even believe in God really because He is clearly super (above) natural. So, how can a person both believe in God and Jesus (the cross, salvation) and still believe that all things can be explained by science or what is seen or natural??

Isn't that what we say when we say we believe that Christ died on the Cross, but we don't believe He wants to/can heal? What about phenomena? 

I need God to root out naturalism from me. I have come to know and believe that God is SUPERNATURAL and that I am called to live a SUPER (ABOVE) NATURAL Life.... complete with supernatural love and power to see that Love impact ME and the WORLD around me.

"Father, would you change my foundational beliefs...the routes in my brain that are stuck in Naturalism?"

This prayer is is why I am pursuing steping out and taking risk even when I still have unbelief, because it isn't that I don't BELIEVE the truth, it is that it needs to sink down and strangle the foundation that says "only what I see and can measure is real".... 

This realization brings so much freedom and it seems so much more managable to say that I have been raised in a culture that has taught me to believe only in the natural world....and now I am stepping into the supernatural and I need help with that shift...I am not faulty or in sin...I just need my worldview revamped.

WOW! Jesus can do that...change my world..

it's His speciality.

What about you, what do you want?

Being in the correct lane...

I am sitting in Downtown Franklin, TN.  I don't come here often, but the internet at my house isn't working, so I came to try and get a little work done. I came here during rush hour on a Friday night, maybe not the best time to get work done...just sayin'.

Anyway, something that I have seen over and over again is people that are in the wrong lane to go the direction they want to go.  This area is called 5 points, because there are five major roads that intersect here. In order to go the direction that you want to go you have:

• Know where you are going
• Understand the Signs
• Get in the correct lane BEFORE the intersection

So many times, people were in the wrong lane at the light and held up those behind them. Needless to say the other cars weren't excited about this and showed it in the excited honking of horns and even some not so nice words.

It just made me think that in order to get to where God is taking me...my DESTINY then I need to be in the correct lane... and so, I need to know where I am going, understand the signs and get in the lane before I get to the intersection.

Today I read through my electronic journal from the last few months. I was so encouraged.  I wrote some specific things that God said to me and recently those words have showed up in prophetic words.  Wow...now that is encouraging.  He is speaking more about my NOW future...the not so far away future.

So...I believe I know my destination and God is teaching me more than I could ever imagine about reading the signs (prophecy, dreams, HS,). All of that means that I have more hope that I am getting in the correct lane and I will be there before the next intersection.

Do you know where you are headed?

Can you read the signs?

Are you getting in the correct lane?