Love is
Sunday, October 9, 2011 at 11:49PM NOT agreement.
When I need to know what love is, I go to the most comprehensive definition and guide I know...1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
No where in this definition or anywhere I can find in the Bible, does God tell me that for me to love someone, I have to agree with them. So why does that seem to be the primary belief? I heard part of a sermon today by Kris Vallaton and he was talking about this.. it struck me, because I have spent most of my life looking for agreement.
So what is agreement, anyway?
" a state by which several parties share a view or opinion. The state of not contradicting one another."
We build christian community around agreement, I think. This is what Kris was saying about denominational-ism. I am not sure that it a bad thing, except that through years of cultural adaptation we have come to believe that agreement is required to have relationship...to express love.
This foundational belief system has a problem...it isn't the heart of God, nor is it how Jesus walked on the earth. Who did Jesus hang out with...the men who followed him, yes....but he also spent time with sinners.
Let's go deeper. The bible says that God so loved the world- does the whole world agree with God? Did it ever? No. Yet, he loves.
Am I saying that I need to change my foundational beliefs, my values so that I can be accepted by people? No. Not at all. But I shouldn't expect them to change to be accepted by me either.
I want to learn how to love someone while disagreeing with them....not changing who I am, but not expecting them to change for me either. Not with a hidden agenda, but simply because.
The best example I can think of is my brother, Jim. I love him. He is an amazing man, who is kind, smart, funny and I believe he considers himself agnostic. So, needless to say that since I surrendered my heart to Jesus over 24 years ago...we don't really agree on God. I wish I could say that I have shown my brother love all of these years, but the truth is, it took me about 11 years. See, when I was 12, I thought that I couldn't really love my brother until he agreed with me about God. I presented my case, and he didn't agree. So, I walked way and missed out on 11 years of relationship. Finally, when I was about 23...God intervenned and we started a new relationship over mexican food, and alcohol. That was 13 years ago...we still don't agree...but we are closer than we have ever been. My love for my brother is not dependant on whether he agrees with me....but his opinions haven't changed my value system either.
I want to be able to say this about the world. I don't want to be a used car salesman with my Jesus...He is worth so much more than that.
So....If Love is NOT agreement...what is it?
Reader Comments (2)
Wow. Thank you, Char, for sharing. I have no words except "amen". This hit me right where it needed to; right where I am. Thank you for posting your heart and allowing God to speak through you in this way. love you and miss you!!!
Mmmm.... good stuff lady! Could you imagine if Papa sat with His arms crossed waiting on us to agree with Him before He started loving us? Oh, what an awful mess we would all be in. I'm so glad that Papa loved me and pursued me (and still does) when I wasn't in agreement with Him.